First things first, allow me to reintroduce myself: I'm Kevin Ballinger - formally of the Long Snapping blog SNAPPING NECKS, Sports Illustrated Extra Mustard and a proud Walk On alumni of the Purdue University Football team. Notice I do not say that I am a former Walk On because, as all Walk Ons know, once a Walk On, always a Walk On. Walk Ons are like the friend zone of collegiate sports - some go on to do great things in their respective sport like such as, Clay Matthews (ever heard of him?), Ben Wallace (ever heard of him?) and Scottie Pippen (ever freaking heard of him?) - but most of us go into sales.
But Kev, why do you keep capitalizing Walk Ons?
Excellent question. Because if I don't, who will?
Second things second, my dad and maybe six other people may notice that I have changed the name of my blog. I have done this for two reasons: 1. I can't remember my old log in. 2. I have not snapped a neck in years. People may be asking, who is this guy and why does his opinion matter? Well I kind of just told you who I am here to tell you that my opinion does not matter. You, as a reader, have the option to not read this blog because this is America and because this is America, I can assure you I will not be reading yours.
I chose the name Washed Up Walk On because it is a catchy alliteration and if I know anything about women, its that they dig alliteration. Without doing any research on the origin of the term "Washed Up" would insinuate that whatever is washed up was at one point sea-worthy and capable of sailing the mighty seas - trust me, the only thing I was sailing in my heyday was punt snaps over a punter's head on scout team and the only thing that was floating in my five years as an "athlete" were kegs. Ha! Just kidding mom. I was floating books. Lots and lots of book reading. That's how I managed to squeeze in a four year Physical Education degree in just over five years.
I will be posting periodically about a variety of topics including but not limited to: sports, social media, hot takes, cool beans, pop culture, sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Thirds things thirds, the hot topic right now is how crappy 2016 has been for them personally. I could not disagree more. Four major things have happened in my life in 2016 and in no particular order they are as follows:
- I found out narwhals are actually real
- I got a new pair of shoes
- I swam with sharks (not true)
- I'm like 95% sure I got married
For these last few days of 2016 lets focus on the good and gear up for 2017 when we all go to the gym every day and stop eating junk food and talk to that cute guy in accounting.
I love you and I honestly cannot believe you are still reading this. Next time you see me, you get a high five. k bye
